The Reason Izaya Loves His Knife
by MikachiTarochi
Summary: Ever wonder why Izaya loves his knife so much? He's secretly an M! Implied Shizaya, sort of. Total crack fic, one-shot. By Mikachi


**Mikachi: This one is just a random bit i came up with during the history test (random timing, right?) and Tarochi helped develop ^u^ TOTAL CRACK FIC. Probably OOC, too :D Oh, and this is my first time writing something like this…but i've read plenty of it, so i hopes it's good~ ehehehe~ here it is –evil laugh echoes in background-**

**Disclaimer: i dont own DuRaRaRa! or characters.**

**~(^o^)/**

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~Chapter 1~

Izaya had managed to lose Shizuo again after a huge fight, which had destroyed most of the city. He skipped into his apartment. It was a good thing that Namie had left already, considering what he was planning to do. He ran over to his chair, flopped down into it, and spun around in that awesome way he does.

"Ah…It happened again, Shizu-chan~" He said, sighing as he looked down at the bulge in his pants. Lately, every time he got into a battle with Shizuo, he would come home with an erection. One of these days he would have to get 'revenge', if you know what he means.

He reached for his flick blade and unbuttoned his pants, releasing his stiff member. He slowly slid his clothes off until he sat in his chair in nothing more than his signature fur jacket. Laughing, he started to remember the way Shizu-chan would lift vending machines out of the ground like they were feathers. He was so inhumanly strong and unpredictable, but somehow he liked it. The way the vein in his forehead popped while shouting Izaya's name.

He reached down and started to pump while imagining Shizuo's face shouting his name. He started off slowly, tracing his finger around the tip and then gripping it firmly. He moved his hand up and down, but it wasn't enough. He reached for his flick bade with his other hand and made a cut on his upper arm. The scratch stung in pain, further turning him on.

He started to trail the blade down his arm, pumping harder all the while. He kicked the table with his foot, spinning him around in his chair again. He started giggling as he slashed at his chest lightly. The pain was getting worse, and it felt so good.

"a-ahh…uhnn..Sh-shizu..chaa-aahnn…" He said, almost purred the name. He kept grunting and making slash marks on his chest and arm. "C-cut me mooore…"

He started to imagine what Shizuo would look like looming over him, teasing him with pain. He started to pump faster and faster, still cutting himself, and could feel the pressure building. He was beginning to see stars in his vision, and he was nearing his climax. He slashed himself one more time before climaxing all over the underside of his desk.

The white substance made a large splatter on the underside of the clear glass on his desk, and splashed onto his jacket a little. He sat in his chair, panting, and set his knife down on the desk. He waited a few more minutes before quickly showering off. He waltzed, fully dressed, down the stairs and out his front door, off to Shinra's.

**-(-)-**

"Shinra~" Izaya called as he walked in the front door like he owned the place. He went to the living room and found Shinra snoozing on his couch. He looked around, saw a newspaper, promptly rolled it up, and hit Shinra over the head with it.

"Ow!" He shouted, failing his arms as he was swatted awake. Looking up, he saw Izaya, and knew who had wacked him on the head with a newspaper.

Izaya followed behind Shinra into the little room that Shinra used to treat emergency patients that showed up at his home. Izaya slid off his jacket, set it beside him, and took off his shirt to show Shinra the scratches he had previously made.

"Jeez. What happened?" Shinra asked.

"Ah, just had a little fun with Shizu-chan." He said, his giggles turning into an uncontrollable fit of insane laughter as Shinra started to tend to his wounds.

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**Mikachi: BWAHAHA i had to :3 so THAT'S why Izaya likes his knife so much lol. Hope you enjoyed the totally, completely, nearly stupidly random crack fic :D**

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**EDIT:**

**Tarochi: Mi-chan... I think we have problems :D btw there were no mistakes in this one.**

**Mikachi: you know... think i had a little TOO much fun writing this...i dont think it was that good :( all i could do was laugh my ass off while rereading this XD**


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